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396.18 // Double Trouble: Junior Jedi Just Jaded Justice

Good day my fellow truth seekers. I told you I’d keep you up to date on this whole crystal conundrum, and true to my word I have just gathered even more of a scoop while simultaneously doing the job of the Jedi and the ASF!

Some of you super fans might have seen my latest episode of “Ultra Undercover Utilitress”, in which I made my foray into the local Jedi Temple here on Alzoc III and gave you all a candid look at how the temple operates behind closed doors.

You can remember with fondness and dismay at my detention at the hands of these Jedi when they aptly discovered I was under cover and how they failed to even check basic credentials for validity before locking up innocent civilians doing their civic duty! One of the Masters there even ordered one of the young Jedi to destroy my camera! It made it perfectly clear that these are not people we want protecting us. If you remember the rumors surrounding their leaving of this facility some decades past, you’ll know that I long have believed the people at the capital rose up and together ousted the lot of them with our cries of anger! Speak to them with the money, I say! Not allowing them to renew their lease was, in my opinion, the greatest act of service the ASF had done to date, or since.

But, Orleana Gorgin isn’t all talk, sentiment, auspicious beauty and intelligence, she’s also built to work, and she works for YOU, the deserving citizens of Alzoc III who deserve to know they are safe!

When last we left off on this story we had discovered little to nothing other than that lightsaber crystals of some kind were circulating the black market. Since then, the ever competent Jedi have been taking over the case. Particularly, two young Jedi that you may recognize – I snapped this photo just moments before they began threatening innocent Ugnaughts on the street.

That’s right – it’s the same duo who we encountered on “Ultimate Undercover Utilitress”! You can tell the Jedi sent its very best to investigate this, right?

Not even five minutes after this point the duo came after me, but I wasn’t afraid, because of that beauty, charm and wit I told you about earlier. I actually managed to pry some information out of them, cobbled together with what I had previously learned through my own investigation.

As you may or may not be aware, there was a sizable explosion just the other day on the east side of the capital where…the less than savory congregate. Allegedly, a small explosion set off other explosives from this weapons dealer, causing the damage to the building.

This has put the Rising Sun and Dewback groups on extremely tense terms, as people start pointing fingers. Other smaller gangs are smelling the blood in the water too, such as the Fletchers. Alzoc III’s capital is set for an all out gang war with us innocent, beautiful and incredibly intelligent citizens caught in the crossfire!

This reporter has located a few items from the police report that the ASF DOES NOT WANT you to see. Allegedly there were plasma emissions detected at the scene, as well as bizarre shrapnel embedded into the walls with the plasma emissions. After questioning the Jedi, I think that maybe one of the gangs has set up ELABORATE TRAPS to cause EXPLOSIONS to happen when testing out these crystals. Are they actually crystals? Are they just BOMBS?!

One thing is for certain. This reporter is on the case and will find out more for you soon. Until next time, this has been Orleana Gorgin.