281.07 // Superstar Smashball Player Enlists in Coalition Army
Hazim Kisi
The Coalition’s newest recruit is in all probability the most famous to date, as star passer Hazim Kisi of the Corellian Dreadnaughts has shocked the sports world by announcing his enlistment into the Coalition Military in a press conference early this morning. Kisi, one of the greatest money earners in the history of the sport, will be entering as a base Private in the Coalition Army and will  subsequently be shipped off to to join the 627th Legion on Muunilinst within a matter of hours from the breaking of this report.
The reasons for Kisi joining the armed forces are as shocking as they are dubious, as he had never spoken of anything related to the war up to this point. Giving up millions of credits in the voiding of his contract, Kisi nevertheless appeared  jovial and excited about his decision as he commented:
I’m going out there to protect my babies. It’s time I stopped running from the railers on the other team and instead carved up some Chiss [expletive] for our freedom. For anyone who questions what made me all of a sudden come to this decision, they can shut their yaps when they know it was because of a calling. I asked myself, ‘what am I doing with my life?’ and decided I had to reach higher. It’s a challenge, but an honorable one, and I can’t wait to get out there with my brothers and sisters in uniform.
In a further showing of his enthusiasm, Kisi had his regulation haircut done right on the scene, as his trademark sideburns and heralded bangs were obliterated, if at least considerably shortened. Thousands of women from around the Galaxy have since shaved their own heads as a sign of loyalty to Kisi, according to reports.
Hazim Kisi leaves eight sons and six ex-girlfriends to support him throughout his stay in the Outer Rim, in addition to his millions of fans that will undoubtedly shout his name whenever they speak of the war and its champions.
281.07 – Nel Paige // GHN