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348.01 // Holofilm still going ahead, despite Jedi’s best efforts to halt it


We have a news update on the most anticipated Holofilm of the decade ‘Withheld’! As of today, filming is officially underway, despite an effort from the Jedi to seemingly prevent it.

Director Tospol Picar spoke of the violence, lies and the bullying his producer experienced when touring the Jedi’s home on Rannon:

“Bwie spoke to several Jedi, who were happy to answer the positive questions but took exception to her trickier line of questioning. She told me of one particularly bittersweet moment, where she spoke to a young child who vowed he would never kill, lightsaber firmly clipped to his belt as he spoke. Moments prior, she had spoken to another student about the lightsabers being used as a tool of murder.

“It breaks my heart to say, events soon escalated and ultimately she was subject to a grievous assault at the hands of a crazed senile older member of the order. In the process of our visit, our camera was turned off by use of ‘the force’, and by the time we left, it was completely broken. Our cameraman, has left the project due to the stress caused.

“I myself met and spoke with Jedi Knight Vae, who was welcoming and accommodating. After a lengthy discussion, it sadly transpired that I overestimated his role in the events surrounding the plague. Although, he seemed slightly sketchy on the Jedi’s involvement with the development of the cure. As such, I have decided that Master Vae will no longer be played by famed Togruta actor Meritut Detta. Instead we will look for a cheaper alternative, possibly a human actor. That said, I would like to thank him for treating me with the respect and dignity his barbarian colleagues seemed to lack.

“Never in my career as a director, have I or my crew been assaulted for asking simple questions. The Jedi talk of peace, yet only Master Vae showed anything of the sort. I will not be deterred with this project, and just hope the Jedi choose not to seek any further action to stop it from going ahead.

“Thank You!”

His producer, Bwie U’nti, is currently in hospital receiving treatment for her injuries, but is expected to return to work shortly.